The invisible side of breastfeeding.

Dec 16, 2025
5 min read

Many mothers think that breastfeeding is mainly a technical skill.

And technique certainly plays an important role in successful and pain-free breastfeeding.

But breastfeeding is more than just latching, positions and timing.

Successful breastfeeding depends entirely on the collaboration between heart, mind, and body . Your heart must enjoy feeding. Your mind must feel calm and secure. And your body must feel safe.

If one of these links becomes unbalanced, breastfeeding can suddenly become more difficult. Not because you're doing it wrong, but because breastfeeding is a finely tuned interaction that requires calm, trust, and security.

What is often less visible, but extremely important, is that your emotional state and your thoughts directly influence how your body functions during feeding .

Breastfeeding requires a body that dares to let go. When your mind is full and your heart is under pressure, letting go becomes harder. Not because you're failing, but because your body is trying to protect you.

You can compare it with this image:

Imagine you're being chased by a tiger. Your body immediately thinks: danger . Survival takes priority. You're stressed, and adrenaline is pumping through your blood. This isn't a time for nursing. Your body is holding on to the milk.

As soon as you feel safe, the opposite happens. Your body then produces oxytocin , the hormone necessary for bonding, relaxation, and the start of milk flow. For your body, that's a signal: it's safe, we can care .

Luckily, there are no tigers around during the postpartum period. But your body doesn't distinguish between physical danger, emotional insecurity, or mistrust. It's all the same signal to your nervous system: safe or not safe . And that distinction is crucial for breastfeeding.

It works like this:

	Oxytocin : the love hormone	Cortisol : the stress hormone	Adrenaline : the fright hormone
Influence on breastfeeding	it is safe → milk may flow	be careful, stay alert → milk remains solid	acute stress → emergency brake on approach
Released at:	skin-to-skin contact heat peace and privacy trust in yourself and your environment supportive guidance	persistent pain fear or uncertainty performance pressure ( "it has to work out" ) sleep deprivation and exhaustion mistrust or feeling unsupported previous negative experiences with breastfeeding	sudden pain to startle a crying or upset baby time pressure feeling of being watched or judged tension around latching or pumping

Stress during the postpartum period: where does it come from?

The postpartum period is a time of enormous change. Your body is recovering, your hormones are shifting, you're getting to know your baby, and all the while, everything is going crazy. It's therefore not surprising that stress can increase during this phase.

Common stressors during the postpartum period include:

Lack of sleep: Broken nights and little deep sleep make your body more vulnerable to stress.
Pain and physical recovery: Stitches, engorgement, afterpains, a C-section, or sore nipples take a toll on your body. Pain is a stress signal for your nervous system.
Fear and uncertainty: Doubts about whether you are “doing it right,” worries about nutrition, growth, or crying.
Performance pressure: The feeling that breastfeeding has to be successful. That it has to be successful now.
Too many stimuli: Visits, advice, opinions and expectations, even if they are well-intentioned.
Too much information in a short time: In just a few days, you'll receive a huge amount of information about caring for your baby. This information comes from healthcare providers, books, social media, and well-intentioned tips. Processing all that knowledge at once can be overwhelming and even more unsettling.
Lack of support or trust: Feeling unseen or unsupported, or feeling like you have to figure things out on your own.

Not everyone reacts to stress the same way.

Some people are naturally more sensitive to stimuli than others. This isn't a weakness, but a difference in how your nervous system works.

That's precisely why it can be so valuable for almost everyone to think ahead about potential sources of stress during the postpartum period . Not to control everything, but to make conscious choices that help you.

Do you get anxious from too much information at once? Or from limited mobility and physical dependence? Do you get tired from too many visitors and social interaction, or from too little?

By asking yourself these questions, you'll get to know your own sensitive areas. And that allows you to structure the postpartum period in a way that creates more peace, safety, and space for you, your body, and your breastfeeding.

What can you do to reduce stress during the maternity week?

You can't completely avoid stress, but you can prepare for it. By thinking about potential triggers beforehand, you help your body find peace and safety more quickly.

Sleep deprivation:

In the first few weeks after birth, you'll sleep during the day. That's part of it. Prepare for this: think about blackout curtains, earplugs, or an eye mask . Anything that helps you truly rest during the day makes a difference.

Pain

Pain stimuli have a direct influence on stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Make sure you have enough paracetamol at home. Consider contacting a pelvic floor physiotherapist before labor. Techniques like mindfulness or hypnobirthing can also help you better manage tension and pain.

Fear and uncertainty

Choose a midwife and maternity nurse with whom you feel safe and heard. Be patient with yourself; learning takes time. Protect yourself from scary content on social media and consciously choose what you do and don't consume. Read more about this in "The Influence of Social Media."

Performance pressure

Practice letting go and accepting. Breastfeeding doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful. What works today is enough. And if your baby, or your body, needs more time, you can easily book a consultation . You're not alone.

Too many stimuli and visitors

Think ahead about how you want to organize your post-natal visits and discuss this with your partner. The Baby School includes a comprehensive lesson on the benefits and potential challenges of post-natal visits, with practical tips for making them a success.

Too much information

Consider preparing yourself gently during pregnancy with a course like The Baby School. This way, you'll be less overwhelmed by new information during those first, vulnerable days, and you can rely on familiar knowledge.

Reduced mobility

Prepare practically. Make sure the house is mostly in order and the laundry is done, so you can get by for a while. Accept help, for example, from friends who drop off food at your doorstep. Organize your environment with tools like a diaper caddy.